However she responds to the diagnosis of cancer, remember two things: There are only two emotions from which everything else evolves. Love and Fear. If she’s showing up angry, look behind that behavior. It’s fear. Fear of hair loss, energy loss,and loss of independence. Fear of others washing her dishes incorrectly. (Yes, get ready for some irrational behavior!
Meet her to the best of your ability, with love. It doesn’t make her outbursts acceptable. It makes them endurable. The ride of emotions is likely to calm down soon. It may ebb and flow for a year or two, peaking around new events, such as first chemo, radiation, and each surgery.
Tip: Recognize your emotions. Fear, judgement, discomfort, pure love—you name it. Knowing where you really are with your emotions, not pretending or wishing, will help you.