The Double Edged Sword

Are countless people telling you to be positive? Do you feel you’ve failed if your attitude has headed south?—Even if just for the day? Give yourself a break. When you’re scared, anxious or feeling lousy, you may not be as positive as usual. It’s called being human. Be real with what you’re facing in the moment.

There will be folks you don’t know, saying, “It’s all attitude.” “You’ve gotta be positive.” While I agree that’s the truth, it’s not the whole truth. It’s as if it becomes the obligation of the person being diagnosed to comfort those just learning of the diagnosis. It seems people with cancer are expected to show off how positive they are regardless of how they feel. No one likes a grump. No one likes being a grump, either. The Course of Miracles reminds us there are two emotions from which everything evolves: Love or Fear. Think of it. When someone in a car cuts you off, you may get mad. Being upset stems from the fear of almost hitting the other car! Maybe you weren’t paying attention. Maybe you just realized you forgot your driver’s license. Whatever it was, it wasn’t your ability to say, “There goes God in a hurry.”

Being positive made a huge difference in my experience with cancer—Having said that, I’d get upset when someone seeming to have no clue would be outrageously chipper. These people weren’t my core support group. I found the more someone told me they understood, the less they seemed to. Scriptures tell us, “In all things be grateful.” (It’s not for all things.) So, even when you’ve got a rotten day going on, you can be thankful you made it out of bed—or that you have a bed!

Dare I say, “Have a good day”?


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